[Levi's incredibly appreciative that Kara's making it clear that she'll only go further if he's also on board. At the same time, being given the choice is always a massive internal struggle for him. What if he doesn't like it? Would Kara be disappointed? He doesn't want to disappoint her! Would it be better to back out? But that would also be disappointing down the road...
He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to force the constant stream of concerns to stop.]
I-It's not that I don't wanna. From what I was feeling just a second ago, I... I think it's kinda the exact opposite. I was getting hot...and I wanted to keep going.
[He returns his gaze to her, nervous and embarrassed.]
It's just... I-It's finally hitting me what "keep going" means. It's kinda scary.
[ Oh... She smiles a little, because it's nice to know he isn't opposed. But his fear is what gives her pause, and she reaches for his hand to give it a gentle squeeze. ]
Tell me what's bothering you? I can talk you through it. Seriously, I want us both to be comfortable with it.
[ She's not going to push for anything, even if she'd like to move further. ]
It's fine to be worried, but I don't want us to do anything if you're not sure.
[Kara's squeeze on his hand is grounding. He's able to take a deep breath and think.]
It's kind of hard to put into words, but I guess...it's the fact that I've never done this before. Fear of the unknown, and all that.
[It's hard to hide the hint of shame in his voice as he continues. Even harder is keeping eye contact now that he's getting into specifics.]
I liked what I was feeling, but what if I don't like the whole thing? Or what if it's not satisfying for you because you're gonna have to teach me? I just...don't wanna disappoint you.
[ She squeezes his hand again, and her free hand plants itself on his back. She gently rubs soothing circles on it, and maintains the smile on her face. ]
I had these worries too. I was pretty nervous when my first time came up, so don't feel bad for freaking out. I'm willing to teach you because I love you, and I'll have fun, too.
[ Seeing Levi worry so much makes her heart ache a little, but she feels like she has to talk him through this. It's helped before. Hopefully it'll help this time, too. ]
If you really want to give it a shot, we'll see how it goes, but I promise I'll do my best to make it good for the both of us, okay?
[Much like in the past, Kara's reassurance helps here too. He visibly calms down as he listens, and soon enough he's making eye contact again. Though he's still nervous, he looks hopeful.]
...Okay.
[There's no hint of reluctance, no signs of giving in to pressure. With Kara assuaging his concerns, he's allowing himself to get excited again.]
I, um. I wanna do this. I wanna take the next step with you.
[His face turns very red and he lets out a sheepish laugh.]
It's not like I can claim I haven't thought about it...a-about what you feel like.
[ She turns very red, too, and looks at him with surprise. Then, she clears her throat and nods, cheeks still burning. Slowly, she guides him so she's on his back, and she positions herself so she's on top of him. ]
Then...while I, um, do this...you have my permission to touch me, wherever you want, whenever you want. I mean that. And if I want you to do something, I'll let you know.
[ Oh, and before she forgets: ]
I, um. I have a condom in my purse. I'm used to carrying one around just in case, so we're covered there.
[At the end of the day, Levi is only human. While he's been more than content to cuddle and make out, even he's not immune to fantasy. The potential of those fantasies becoming reality, however, was a bit overwhelming at first.
He allows her to guide him, watching her with slightly wide eyes as he feels his heart immediately begin to drum back up in his chest. Soon enough, she's putting her weight on top of him and he sharply inhales with trembling excitement.]
Okay...!
[It's kind of wheezed out as he adjusts to all these new sights and senses, but he wants to make sure Kara knows she's been heard.]
I've, um...I've got one too. [A condom, he means.] N-N-Not that I was expecting this! It's just...Aiden...
[The mention of Aiden should speak for itself, honestly. Aiden has eyes and no filter.]
A-Anyway, I'm gonna...hold you now?
[He has no idea how this goes. Foreplay's a thing, right? They make out and then start with the touching? He needs to get that fire stoked again...then maybe his instincts will start to take over.]
[ She shifts her weight forward and leverages herself on her shoulders. A smile forms on her lips, and she can't help but find the Aiden bit at least a little funny. She laughs quietly, and nods, giving Levi permission to hold her as much as he'd like. ]
Sounds perfect. I'll start here.
[ Foreplay is absolutely a thing, and she's about to initiate it with how she leans down to bring him into a deep, passionate kiss. It's more than just that, though, because as her lips work against him, she feels her heart race. It's not just from excitement, it's because she gets to take care of Levi. They get to take their relationship further, and like him, she's thought about this before. Making it a reality is a little overwhelming, but she's not complaining.
While she kisses him, she lowers her body downward so it's almost completely flush against his. Their hips are notably touching. ]
[As Kara leans in for the kiss, Levi carefully places his hands on her waist. It's not the first time he's done this, but his thought process changes in this context. With her permission, he can now explore her body in a new way. He allows himself to think about how amazing her curves feel under his hands as he lets them wander up and down her sides. He takes in the press of her lips on his...as well as the press of her breasts and hips against his body. It's hard to keep his breathing under control, so he doesn't even bother trying.
He brings his legs up with his feet firm against the bed to better support her, increasing the press of her weight on him in the process. His grip on her suddenly tightens when her hips brush against his.
[ There's a rush of heat that pools in her stomach when he shifts, and when she sinks into him a little more, Kara lets out a low moan into the kiss. She lets one of her hands move down to the bottom of his shirt, and gently, she pushes it upwards as her hand ghosts over his stomach, his waist. She wants it off, as well as her own, with how he's touching her...but she won't move too fast. Kara is making the conscious effort to take her time, even though she desperately wants to feel all of him, all at once.
Once his shirt is about halfway up his torso, she breaks the kiss reluctantly and takes a moment to breathe. Her breathing is hot and heavy, and she looks at him to gauge for his reaction. ]
I'm going to take this off, okay? And then – [ She tugs at her own shirt. ] this, too.
[Levi's closed eyes scrunch up tightly when Kara's moan reverberates into his mouth. He can feel his heart pounding against his ears...and...elsewhere... That fire has been reignited big time, that's for sure.
He makes some vague sound of embarrassment when she sneaks under his shirt, though he doesn't stop her. Unlike the hardened abs of his Fragment avatar, his actual stomach is soft to the touch, nestled in a light layer of fat. It moves slightly with every vocal motion Levi makes- something that only serves to embarrass him further when Kara talks of wanting to remove their shirts.]
I-If...if you really wanna... [Cheeks on fire, he rolls his head to the side to look at the wall. This is what he chooses to be reluctant about.] I'm not...much to look at, though...
[ She frowns when he looks away, and what follows breaks her heart. Kara gently brushes her fingers against his cheek, guides him to look at her again. ]
Hey... [ She shakes her head. ] You aren't "not much" to look at. You're everything to me, Levi.
[ She presses another kiss to his lips, but this one's soft and sweet. ]
It's okay if you want to leave it on, but I'm not asking you to be anything but yourself. I'm not going to scrutinize your body, because there's nothing to be critical about. [ She doesn't have to see it to know it. ] You're perfect as you are. I'm sure of it.
[He lets her guide him, still very much looking like he's feeling sorry for himself until she reassures him that it's okay.
Some things take time to heal, and Levi's poor self-image is definitely one thing that's going to take a while. Every little bit of encouragement from Kara does so much for him, though. Without that, it may never have never gotten better at all.
When Kara pulls away from the kiss, Levi manages the tiniest of smiles. He's still unsure of himself, but the part of him that believes Kara wins out.]
Thank you, Kara-chan.
[This is one of those times when he wonders how he managed to get so lucky with Kara entering his life.
He removes his hands from her so they can proceed.]
I can, um...I can help you with yours after you do mine, if you want?
[He maneuvers however necessary to get the shirt off, then quickly brings his arms down to cover his face with his hands as though he's afraid of how Kara might respond. His body has been a constant source of shame for him, ever since he stopped swimming and let himself get out of shape. Most attempts to get back into shape since then have been futile.
Yet...here Kara is, saying he's perfect just how he is.
He lowers his hands to see her bright smile. Nothing about it is fake.]
R-Really?
[Stunned, he internally tells himself that this moment of vulnerability was worth it. He may not be built amazingly like Barrett or naturally beautiful like Aiden, but the person he wants to be with romantically finds him desirable as he is.
It's hard not to get a little choked up about that.]
You're gonna... [Mm, no. Too late.] You're making me blush.
[He can't help it. He has to cover his face a little. It's not going to prevent Kara from seeing how flushed he is, but it's soothing all the same. He'd rather be red from flattery than from the shame he was grappling with moments ago.
Before he returns the gesture, he lets this moment go on for a little longer. Kara's touch makes him shiver at first, but he calms down soon enough. The rise and fall of his chest steadies and settles into a contented rhythm.]
This feels nice. I- I'm happy too.
...
[Now, for the next daunting task. He raises his hands up to reach for the bottom of Kara's shirt.]
[ She lifts a hand to cup his chin, and she leans in for a kiss. She's glad he seems to be calmer. The kiss is sweet, lingering -- and then she pulls away to let him do the honors. Kara helps him out of her shirt, and once it's off...
She reaches for his hand, and places it over the clasp of her bra, situated between her breasts. ]
[Just being able to see Kara in her bra is enough to get his heart rate going all over again. He wants to avert his eyes out of politeness, but looking is obviously the point here! So he looks...and he admires...and his mouth falls slightly agape.
The next thing he knows, Kara's guiding his hand to touch it and he can't help but stare in clueless wonder. This clasp may as well be a sailor's knot with how much his shaky hands are going to struggle with it.]
Y-Y-Yeah. I'm on it.
[His tongue pokes out as he narrows his concentration on the clasp. Fortunately he doesn't end up struggling that much. Soon enough, the clasp is undone and Kara's breasts are free from their confines.
...
...
Levi is just gonna look at them respectfully.]
Wow...
[He's never seen bare boobs in person and these are right in his face, help.]
[ Help.... Normally she wouldn't get so flustered over this, but this is Levi, and she gets a little bashful when he looks at her. Congrats on the boobs. ]
Um...
[ She blushes, and she looks away, clears her throat. ]
It's...okay, right? Not weird?
[ Kara closes her eyes. Now it's her turn to be a little nervous over how he's perceiving her. ]
[And like Kara was for him, Levi is quick to reassure her.]
Definitely okay. Better than okay! I j-just didn't think I'd ever get to see something like this.
[Which feels a little pathetic to say, but it was how he felt. He was sure he'd never see any action. But as he gazes upon his girlfriend—his lover—the "action" aspect of this has no meaning. This is far beyond something so shallow.
He rests his hands on her arms, holding his awed gaze up at her.]
[ Oh... She loves how he's looking at her, loves how he's making her feel, and she gazes back at him softly. Kara leans down to nuzzle him, and she can't help but laugh a little. ]
I'm relieved... I was worried it was too much, so I'm really happy, Levi.
[He smiles and nuzzles back, sneaking in a little kiss before she withdraws.]
E-Eheh, it's definitely a lot...but not in a bad way.
[Speaking of "a lot", though...his eyes widen in shock, as though he was perfectly fine with just looking. He gets to touch boobs? Kara's boobs???]
Really? [His voice is quiet and a little strained.] O-Okay, um...
[He takes a shaky breath and slowly reaches up to gently cup Kara's breasts. A light little gasp escapes him as he explores further, taking in the sensation of how squishy and soft they are. He can't help but give one the most ginger of squeezes to watch how the skin and fat gives way under his fingers.
This is certainly making him feel a certain way. Though he wouldn't be able to explain it in this moment, it's arousal. He finds this arousing.]
[ Levi's gentle exploration gives her pause. She hasn't had someone handle her so gently -- not that she's ever minded it before, but it's different when it's coming from someone you love and trust. It's like he's being careful, treating her like this is precious, like she's precious, and her heart skips a beat. It's probably because he's also never done this before, but something about this is just really, really special.
She's overcome with emotion, but physically, it feels good. She closes her eyes and lets out a shaky, warm breath, and accompanies it with a low moan. Her eyes flutter shut, and she can't help it. Her hips roll as her arousal grows, craving something to relieve some of the heat between her legs. ]
L-Levi.
[ While he continues to do that, Kara opens her eyes, licks her lips, and leans in to start placing soft, wet kisses to his neck. ]
[Levi knew Kara was okay with this, but he didn't think he'd ever get a reaction like that out of her. Boobs must be really sensitive, huh? Her moan makes his heart pound even harder, stoking the fire in his belly. He takes it as a sign to continue, so he does. He keeps squeezing and running his fingers across her breasts, brushing up against her nipples in the process.
He's stopped in his tracks for a moment, yelping when Kara presses into him. She rubs right against his groin, sending a shockwave of arousal through him. Now, more than ever, has he become aware of the growing pulse down there. No doubt that Kara will take notice of it too.]
Mmmn...
[He's much less eloquent in the moment, deciding to let his actions do the taking for him.
He continues with her breasts as she kisses him, but after enough of that, he moves to return his hands to her side in an attempt to encourage more friction. He'll even help by lifting his lower half ever so slightly to press into her in return.]
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He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to force the constant stream of concerns to stop.]
I-It's not that I don't wanna. From what I was feeling just a second ago, I... I think it's kinda the exact opposite. I was getting hot...and I wanted to keep going.
[He returns his gaze to her, nervous and embarrassed.]
It's just... I-It's finally hitting me what "keep going" means. It's kinda scary.
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Tell me what's bothering you? I can talk you through it. Seriously, I want us both to be comfortable with it.
[ She's not going to push for anything, even if she'd like to move further. ]
It's fine to be worried, but I don't want us to do anything if you're not sure.
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It's kind of hard to put into words, but I guess...it's the fact that I've never done this before. Fear of the unknown, and all that.
[It's hard to hide the hint of shame in his voice as he continues. Even harder is keeping eye contact now that he's getting into specifics.]
I liked what I was feeling, but what if I don't like the whole thing? Or what if it's not satisfying for you because you're gonna have to teach me? I just...don't wanna disappoint you.
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[ She squeezes his hand again, and her free hand plants itself on his back. She gently rubs soothing circles on it, and maintains the smile on her face. ]
I had these worries too. I was pretty nervous when my first time came up, so don't feel bad for freaking out. I'm willing to teach you because I love you, and I'll have fun, too.
[ Seeing Levi worry so much makes her heart ache a little, but she feels like she has to talk him through this. It's helped before. Hopefully it'll help this time, too. ]
If you really want to give it a shot, we'll see how it goes, but I promise I'll do my best to make it good for the both of us, okay?
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...Okay.
[There's no hint of reluctance, no signs of giving in to pressure. With Kara assuaging his concerns, he's allowing himself to get excited again.]
I, um. I wanna do this. I wanna take the next step with you.
[His face turns very red and he lets out a sheepish laugh.]
It's not like I can claim I haven't thought about it...a-about what you feel like.
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...You have?
[ She turns very red, too, and looks at him with surprise. Then, she clears her throat and nods, cheeks still burning. Slowly, she guides him so she's on his back, and she positions herself so she's on top of him. ]
Then...while I, um, do this...you have my permission to touch me, wherever you want, whenever you want. I mean that. And if I want you to do something, I'll let you know.
[ Oh, and before she forgets: ]
I, um. I have a condom in my purse. I'm used to carrying one around just in case, so we're covered there.
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[At the end of the day, Levi is only human. While he's been more than content to cuddle and make out, even he's not immune to fantasy. The potential of those fantasies becoming reality, however, was a bit overwhelming at first.
He allows her to guide him, watching her with slightly wide eyes as he feels his heart immediately begin to drum back up in his chest. Soon enough, she's putting her weight on top of him and he sharply inhales with trembling excitement.]
Okay...!
[It's kind of wheezed out as he adjusts to all these new sights and senses, but he wants to make sure Kara knows she's been heard.]
I've, um...I've got one too. [A condom, he means.] N-N-Not that I was expecting this! It's just...Aiden...
[The mention of Aiden should speak for itself, honestly. Aiden has eyes and no filter.]
A-Anyway, I'm gonna...hold you now?
[He has no idea how this goes. Foreplay's a thing, right? They make out and then start with the touching? He needs to get that fire stoked again...then maybe his instincts will start to take over.]
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Sounds perfect. I'll start here.
[ Foreplay is absolutely a thing, and she's about to initiate it with how she leans down to bring him into a deep, passionate kiss. It's more than just that, though, because as her lips work against him, she feels her heart race. It's not just from excitement, it's because she gets to take care of Levi. They get to take their relationship further, and like him, she's thought about this before. Making it a reality is a little overwhelming, but she's not complaining.
While she kisses him, she lowers her body downward so it's almost completely flush against his. Their hips are notably touching. ]
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He brings his legs up with his feet firm against the bed to better support her, increasing the press of her weight on him in the process. His grip on her suddenly tightens when her hips brush against his.
Whew. He suddenly feels everything.]
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Once his shirt is about halfway up his torso, she breaks the kiss reluctantly and takes a moment to breathe. Her breathing is hot and heavy, and she looks at him to gauge for his reaction. ]
I'm going to take this off, okay? And then – [ She tugs at her own shirt. ] this, too.
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He makes some vague sound of embarrassment when she sneaks under his shirt, though he doesn't stop her. Unlike the hardened abs of his Fragment avatar, his actual stomach is soft to the touch, nestled in a light layer of fat. It moves slightly with every vocal motion Levi makes- something that only serves to embarrass him further when Kara talks of wanting to remove their shirts.]
I-If...if you really wanna... [Cheeks on fire, he rolls his head to the side to look at the wall. This is what he chooses to be reluctant about.] I'm not...much to look at, though...
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[ She frowns when he looks away, and what follows breaks her heart. Kara gently brushes her fingers against his cheek, guides him to look at her again. ]
Hey... [ She shakes her head. ] You aren't "not much" to look at. You're everything to me, Levi.
[ She presses another kiss to his lips, but this one's soft and sweet. ]
It's okay if you want to leave it on, but I'm not asking you to be anything but yourself. I'm not going to scrutinize your body, because there's nothing to be critical about. [ She doesn't have to see it to know it. ] You're perfect as you are. I'm sure of it.
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Some things take time to heal, and Levi's poor self-image is definitely one thing that's going to take a while. Every little bit of encouragement from Kara does so much for him, though. Without that, it may never have never gotten better at all.
When Kara pulls away from the kiss, Levi manages the tiniest of smiles. He's still unsure of himself, but the part of him that believes Kara wins out.]
Thank you, Kara-chan.
[This is one of those times when he wonders how he managed to get so lucky with Kara entering his life.
He removes his hands from her so they can proceed.]
I can, um...I can help you with yours after you do mine, if you want?
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[ And once he seems okay with it, Kara starts slipping his shirt up, and off of him. And once that's done... ]
...Levi. You really are perfect.
[ She's smiling so much. ]
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Yet...here Kara is, saying he's perfect just how he is.
He lowers his hands to see her bright smile. Nothing about it is fake.]
R-Really?
[Stunned, he internally tells himself that this moment of vulnerability was worth it. He may not be built amazingly like Barrett or naturally beautiful like Aiden, but the person he wants to be with romantically finds him desirable as he is.
It's hard not to get a little choked up about that.]
...I'm glad.
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[ She presses a soft kiss to his forehead. ]
I think you're gorgeous. Seriously.
[ Her hands gently place themselves over his stomach, and she moves them up his abdomen, keeping her touch light. ]
You can take care of me when you're ready. I'm just -- I'm really happy.
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[He can't help it. He has to cover his face a little. It's not going to prevent Kara from seeing how flushed he is, but it's soothing all the same. He'd rather be red from flattery than from the shame he was grappling with moments ago.
Before he returns the gesture, he lets this moment go on for a little longer. Kara's touch makes him shiver at first, but he calms down soon enough. The rise and fall of his chest steadies and settles into a contented rhythm.]
This feels nice. I- I'm happy too.
...
[Now, for the next daunting task. He raises his hands up to reach for the bottom of Kara's shirt.]
I think I'm ready.
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[ She lifts a hand to cup his chin, and she leans in for a kiss. She's glad he seems to be calmer. The kiss is sweet, lingering -- and then she pulls away to let him do the honors. Kara helps him out of her shirt, and once it's off...
She reaches for his hand, and places it over the clasp of her bra, situated between her breasts. ]
This, too?
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The next thing he knows, Kara's guiding his hand to touch it and he can't help but stare in clueless wonder. This clasp may as well be a sailor's knot with how much his shaky hands are going to struggle with it.]
Y-Y-Yeah. I'm on it.
[His tongue pokes out as he narrows his concentration on the clasp. Fortunately he doesn't end up struggling that much. Soon enough, the clasp is undone and Kara's breasts are free from their confines.
...
...
Levi is just gonna look at them respectfully.]
Wow...
[He's never seen bare boobs in person and these are right in his face, help.]
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Um...
[ She blushes, and she looks away, clears her throat. ]
It's...okay, right? Not weird?
[ Kara closes her eyes. Now it's her turn to be a little nervous over how he's perceiving her. ]
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Definitely okay. Better than okay! I j-just didn't think I'd ever get to see something like this.
[Which feels a little pathetic to say, but it was how he felt. He was sure he'd never see any action. But as he gazes upon his girlfriend—his lover—the "action" aspect of this has no meaning. This is far beyond something so shallow.
He rests his hands on her arms, holding his awed gaze up at her.]
You're so beautiful...
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I'm relieved... I was worried it was too much, so I'm really happy, Levi.
[ ... ]
You can touch me, if you want to. I don't mind.
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E-Eheh, it's definitely a lot...but not in a bad way.
[Speaking of "a lot", though...his eyes widen in shock, as though he was perfectly fine with just looking. He gets to touch boobs? Kara's boobs???]
Really? [His voice is quiet and a little strained.] O-Okay, um...
[He takes a shaky breath and slowly reaches up to gently cup Kara's breasts. A light little gasp escapes him as he explores further, taking in the sensation of how squishy and soft they are. He can't help but give one the most ginger of squeezes to watch how the skin and fat gives way under his fingers.
This is certainly making him feel a certain way. Though he wouldn't be able to explain it in this moment, it's arousal. He finds this arousing.]
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She's overcome with emotion, but physically, it feels good. She closes her eyes and lets out a shaky, warm breath, and accompanies it with a low moan. Her eyes flutter shut, and she can't help it. Her hips roll as her arousal grows, craving something to relieve some of the heat between her legs. ]
L-Levi.
[ While he continues to do that, Kara opens her eyes, licks her lips, and leans in to start placing soft, wet kisses to his neck. ]
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He's stopped in his tracks for a moment, yelping when Kara presses into him. She rubs right against his groin, sending a shockwave of arousal through him. Now, more than ever, has he become aware of the growing pulse down there. No doubt that Kara will take notice of it too.]
Mmmn...
[He's much less eloquent in the moment, deciding to let his actions do the taking for him.
He continues with her breasts as she kisses him, but after enough of that, he moves to return his hands to her side in an attempt to encourage more friction. He'll even help by lifting his lower half ever so slightly to press into her in return.]
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CRYING AND WHEEZING
nods deeply
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